cloudy

Weather is so cloudy, Silent and it is nice weather to write something.

This silence pushed me to remember my past .I wish to have time machine, that i can go

back to particular period :-).

If I say past, then definetly she comes in my mind. Hope she will be happy some where and It

almost more than a year since i met.

I never ever thought about falling in love and it happend to me like spark and flamed well.

But god think differently and love wheel stopped. Change is tough in life, But that is constant

in this world.

Recently there is quote I read from Sri Raghavendra that saying

"ella panthagalum, uravugulam oru karana kariyathukku than nadakuthu".

There is some poorva genma relationship continued and ended here. It is more philosophical,

But it is true.

We have to accept the change and need to live happy life. Life is once and be happy and smiley

always.

- West Gates

Memories Remain Ever

Some place, fragrance, incident and even TV Programs joined now to get back our memories which is stored in our soul.

Today I watched "kadhal kaditham theeteve" song from jodi and they showed nayagara falls and night fire outs with different colors.

Time to remember sweet memories..

Once nayagara reached, we started to walking and i am walking alone and surprsingly she ran behind me and joined with me. It was beautiful feeling..

In the night, myself and her alone just walked from one end to another end in top of nayagara. I remeber she said "it is fairy tale" and she asked me to guess what colour does she like and I said dont know and she replied pink.

Just holding her handly secretly and I watched the fire works in the night of nayagara and It was memorable feeling.

Life changes and memories remain ever.

Be Smiley

-West Gates

Genma Wish

last one week, I just thought about June 21 and want to write about it. Not only this day and I cant forget any days with her. I'll write and say this till end of my life that my first and fresh love will come in my mind and memories ever.

I am so normal now a days. Because things will change day by day and it reduced the pain. I want her happiness always. She should be happy every day and every moment.

some previous "genma" relationship continued here and ended unfortunately. Took me long time to come back, but many times , many incident in life reminded her and it continuous.

I have one wish in my next genma. She should meet me in next genma and fall in love with me like crazy and we should have power to remember things which happend in current life and can recollect in next genma. Atleast in next genma , we should get married and live happily ever. I know it is crazy wish and but hope it will happen :-)

Be Happy and Be smiley :-)

-West Gates

Spring change

Last couple of weeks suffered from Viral Fever and took one day off from my work. I am okie now. Really today is special, that I went to West Gates after long time. I took nap in after noon and suddenly i felt like going there, just went.

I didnt see much change in there, for me it is same old place. Just walked there and bend my kness in front of "West Gates" spent some time.Got some tears, But I think, I need that, to let go some of my emotions.

I am not in depression any more. Just living normal life.

I remember so many things today, when I think about this month. Two years back exactly 4 days back, ie April 6 2009, I came to this place from Nashville with full of dreams and excitement :-).

Actually, When I went there, I remember one thing, yep I buried my "Amman" here. I was so emotional that time.

if some body ask me , what is the purest form in this world. I say baby womb, because it is creation of two people on their love. Even I wrote last time, my love was like that.

But some times, baby died in mothers womb, Like that my love too :-(

How father would feel his baby died and how harmful to that father, can't define in words. I have the same father feel, when my baby died.

Its world logic, that any one one relieve from pain when day progress. But can't forget, when his baby died. Here I am too. It was my First Love Ever on my 28 years and It is so tough for me to accept my kid died. But I'll remember this story in my life ever till i go to my death bed.

This is April, still I know my feel,everyday when i wake up and see my mirror in face. How hard would be for me every day morning. I am okie now, when i compared to my earlier days. Yeah I am 30 now and atleast i am act like grown up men.

if I went all these happy and pain, just because I loved her madly, then I accept everything happily what ever happend to me with out any regrets.

I always say to my family or friends, there is some people you can't hate them on your whole life, irrespective of what they do. we never know , why we are doing like that and what make you feel like that.. no logic for that. I believe she is one for me. I don't think, i can hate her on my whole life. Just let her go and live her life happily.

Last time , when I went to india, I travelled in train and I was talking to old person, who is around 85. After 15 minutes of talk, there was station , he need to get down. When he was leaving, he said in english "you are wise mean, i ever met". This word was shocking to me and embarrassed. Such a old man and I didnt know what makes him to think like that. But sad part is I am lovable , but not wise.

Guru Raghavendra said, "Kariyam illama oru Karanam illa".

Spring Started here, nice weather and hope everything changes in life.

-West gates