Last couple of weeks suffered from Viral Fever and took one day off from my work. I am okie now. Really today is special, that I went to West Gates after long time. I took nap in after noon and suddenly i felt like going there, just went.
I didnt see much change in there, for me it is same old place. Just walked there and bend my kness in front of "West Gates" spent some time.Got some tears, But I think, I need that, to let go some of my emotions.
I am not in depression any more. Just living normal life.
I remember so many things today, when I think about this month. Two years back exactly 4 days back, ie April 6 2009, I came to this place from Nashville with full of dreams and excitement :-).
Actually, When I went there, I remember one thing, yep I buried my "Amman" here. I was so emotional that time.
if some body ask me , what is the purest form in this world. I say baby womb, because it is creation of two people on their love. Even I wrote last time, my love was like that.
But some times, baby died in mothers womb, Like that my love too :-(
How father would feel his baby died and how harmful to that father, can't define in words. I have the same father feel, when my baby died.
Its world logic, that any one one relieve from pain when day progress. But can't forget, when his baby died. Here I am too. It was my First Love Ever on my 28 years and It is so tough for me to accept my kid died. But I'll remember this story in my life ever till i go to my death bed.
This is April, still I know my feel,everyday when i wake up and see my mirror in face. How hard would be for me every day morning. I am okie now, when i compared to my earlier days. Yeah I am 30 now and atleast i am act like grown up men.
if I went all these happy and pain, just because I loved her madly, then I accept everything happily what ever happend to me with out any regrets.
I always say to my family or friends, there is some people you can't hate them on your whole life, irrespective of what they do. we never know , why we are doing like that and what make you feel like that.. no logic for that. I believe she is one for me. I don't think, i can hate her on my whole life. Just let her go and live her life happily.
Last time , when I went to india, I travelled in train and I was talking to old person, who is around 85. After 15 minutes of talk, there was station , he need to get down. When he was leaving, he said in english "you are wise mean, i ever met". This word was shocking to me and embarrassed. Such a old man and I didnt know what makes him to think like that. But sad part is I am lovable , but not wise.
Guru Raghavendra said, "Kariyam illama oru Karanam illa".How father would feel his baby died and how harmful to that father, can't define in words. I have the same father feel, when my baby died.
Its world logic, that any one one relieve from pain when day progress. But can't forget, when his baby died. Here I am too. It was my First Love Ever on my 28 years and It is so tough for me to accept my kid died. But I'll remember this story in my life ever till i go to my death bed.
This is April, still I know my feel,everyday when i wake up and see my mirror in face. How hard would be for me every day morning. I am okie now, when i compared to my earlier days. Yeah I am 30 now and atleast i am act like grown up men.
if I went all these happy and pain, just because I loved her madly, then I accept everything happily what ever happend to me with out any regrets.
I always say to my family or friends, there is some people you can't hate them on your whole life, irrespective of what they do. we never know , why we are doing like that and what make you feel like that.. no logic for that. I believe she is one for me. I don't think, i can hate her on my whole life. Just let her go and live her life happily.
Last time , when I went to india, I travelled in train and I was talking to old person, who is around 85. After 15 minutes of talk, there was station , he need to get down. When he was leaving, he said in english "you are wise mean, i ever met". This word was shocking to me and embarrassed. Such a old man and I didnt know what makes him to think like that. But sad part is I am lovable , but not wise.
Spring Started here, nice weather and hope everything changes in life.
-West gates
